Revelation 2:2 I know your works and your labor and your endurance and that you cannot bear evil men; and you have tried those who call themselves apostles and are not, and have found them to be false;
Revelation 2:3 And you have endurance and have borne all things because of My name and have not grown weary.
Revelation 2:4 But I have one thing against you, that you have left your first love.
Revelation 2:5 Remember therefore where you have fallen from and repent and do the first works; but if not, I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place, unless you repent.
I went to Lundu last night joining the small group meeting there. I am weak and backslide recently but I was very much shepherded last night when brother David shared on the few verses in the book of Revelation.
I was very much lack of faith in whatever I do. In all things I was shaky! I do not dare to say that I’m working, labouring and enduring for the Lord if compared to those brothers. However, last night I was enlightened by the Lord, I could do lots of things, labour on so many things and endured for all the happenings around me but there is one thing.. just that one thing… I have left my first love!
This sentence really strikes me. In my recent life, I had left the first love towards God. I did not read my bible nor did I keep up with my prayer life for more than 2 weeks. I had abandon the crucial exercise in my spiritual life. I know my problems but instead of facing it I’m imprisoned myself, limiting myself not denying myself to come before the Lord again!
On the way back to Kuching, I prayed to the Lord to have mercy on me. I had left the very first love but the Lord is there waiting for me to turn back to Him. Going back to His house! It reminds me of the prodigal son. I had left! Turning myself to join the king of flies, Beezebul. But Father is there waiting for me to go back!
O what a mercy! God had never abundant me! His abundant grace empowered me in everything I do. My studies and my life, there is nothing much I could do! Besides trying my very best I need to turn to God. This is the first time I felt so hopeless in my study. Previously, I do not understand why others facing such a problems? Due to their laziness that they did not score in their studies? Is their problems!!! How proud and blinded I am!!!
Praise the Lord, this is the time I turn myself and devoting for a vow! There are a lots of uncertainties but in 1 Cor 2:9 … Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard and which have not come up in man's heart; things which God has prepared for those who love Him. God had prepared me all things I just have to walk in faith! Do not be threaten for His hand is there!
May the Lord have grace and mercy on me. Recovered me to the first love for Him.
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